To all the forbidden men I have loved

Happy New Month🥳🥳 As this month doubles up as birthday month💃🏽💃🏽, I promise to give you sensational pieces.

I must apologize for not writing in the month of March, life took hold of me coupled with writer’s block😶.

Thanks for constantly reading and urging me to keep writing , I appreciate you all.

Love, Eno K

James, Fiifi, Jaden………

Why do I seem to only fall in love with people I can never have? This heart of mine does not have any sense of direction in this life and has disconnected all ties with my head and seems to just go with its flow. And so far she has been a disaster. Only coming back with bandaids in an attempt to hold her together. “What on earth can I do with you? You just do not think!”

James, Oh James! The mention of your name just sent my lips wide and the smile was enough to get to my eyes. What beautiful memories I made with you in my mind, hahaha. They could not manifest because you were my teacher and I was a shy teenager. I could never look in your eyes for fear that you would see through me. Anytime you stood in class to teach, my heart was in a constant somersault and the butterflies in my tummy went agog. I dreamt of a possible life together………childish me. The only way I could make you notice me was by failing in your subject so you will call me for the special tutorial like you did with the others but the only time I failed, you announced that you had stopped that tutorial. I was so furious at you, “how could you do that to me?”, “Did you have any idea what it took to fail just so you will notice me?” The lecture I was going to receive from my dad did not hold as opposed to the ultimate goal of being your special tutorial student and you ruined it all! That day, the love vanished and I made a pact with brain never to allow heart to run around unchecked.

This heart of mine I have concluded is on a suicide mission, do not ask me why, by the time I am done with Uncle Fiifi you will understand me. The title Uncle should just tell you this was a forbidden love right from the word go, but dear heart with no ears will not listen. Uncle Fiifi was that perfect young uncle we all had. All the female cousins had a crush on him and I was no exception and the male cousins aspired to be like him. Uncle Fiifi was married to a beautiful woman and I hated her for taking the love of my life away from me. The day he brought her home, I cried in my pillow the whole night knowing I had lost him for good. Uncle Fiifi saw me grow, he was my go-to person, he taught me how to swim, took us to all the fun places when mummy and daddy weren’t available. He always asked which boy I liked and how to go about the boys in my university. Little did he know the advice he gave me was kept in my heart as a treasure to be used on him. On my 23rd birthday, he sent me out and promised me a wonderful time. Silly me thought I was matured enough to let it all out. I had written a 3 paged, heartfelt letter to him and even tried to steal a kiss when the hug he gave me lingered on. I actually thought he felt the same way about me and that he would leave auntie for me and we will be happy together. Well, that day saw the end of us, and heart returned to head with a stronger resolve. Today we are better friends after years of avoiding me as though I was a plague and that stung so bad.

Jaden was our youth chaplain, I am trying to cover who entirely Jaden is…………..how can I even say this. Jaden is a Catholic priest. Now, do you understand why I berate my heart so much? When she sees a forbidden man, that is when she decides to pump ferociously. Fr Jaden was my ideal man. When he stood on the sanctuary in his white cassock, Lord!! As for the sermon, it was never my focus. Fine man, 6’1 tall, sideburns, 6 packs, chocolate in colour, no pimples, no wrinkles, only dimples. I hope you are getting the picture I am painting, and with all this fineness this man decided to be a priest! Fr Jaden did not try for the females like me. I built a family with him. Honestly, it was not just an infatuation it was love. I was more mature at this stage and kept my emotions under my sleeve. Unfortunately for me, I had to work on some committees with him, so we got close. The closer we got, the more difficult it was to keep my heart in check. Heart run free and wild again. I think this is the saddest one because Fr Jaden felt the same way about me. It is always easier when one party does not like you like James and Uncle Fiifi but this case was different. Fr loved the priesthood and lived for it. He could not bring himself to want to leave and he selfishly wanted me just as I wanted him.

After months of tears and love, the brain took over and dragged love home. I changed parishes and priests and I are not friends!!! I cannot die twice.

To all the forbidden men I have loved, I really did love you but as it were, you were all forbidden. I do not know why the unforbidden ones haven’t yet appealed to my heart or maybe my heart ascribes to Cardi B’s rap in Girl’s like you by Maroon 5, “why is the best fruit always forbidden?” Is this true?

I have no idea

But for now, my heart is under rigorous training.

I am happy to announce that, an unforbidden lad is lurking around. I do not want to get ahead of myself so I am taking it slowly, wish me luck because this time he has to be the one 😉!

Happy Easter🐣

The Boy Next Door

Painting by Cayetano de Arquer Buigas

There is always that guy who seems just within reach but at the same time so far away. That is how I felt about the boy next door. He was so close yet unavailable.

The boy next door! I seem to be in your peripheral vision and secondary to your commitments.

There was a she, but I was there before her.

You saw me in diapers hence I was always that little girl to you.

The boy next door, can you not see me wave at you?

Can you not see me jumping and my subtle winks at you?

Can you not see me passing by just to catch your attention?

The boy next door, when will I hit your fovea?

The boy next door, so near but yet so far away.

Till then you will remain my fantasy……….

Eno K

Scammed by Adulthood

I started a WhatsApp series on Adulthood about a month ago hurray!! and the feedback from most of you has been nothing but amazing. Today I would like to share a piece on what adulthood felt like to me when it struck. I hope you enjoy enjoy it. Hopefully the series transcends into something bigger that will benefit the upcoming generation.

To all the Argentina and Messi fans CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! Yes we did it. This so surreal.

Feliz Compleaños

Adulthood is like the vet, and we’re all the dogs that were excited for the car ride until we realized where we’re going.

Anonymous

Before she knew, the adulthood she dreamt of struck, Oh the joy! but this joy was short-lived.

All her cushions had been taken away and she was left to stand all on her own.

She casts her eyes around and there was no one there. When the time of decision making came, she looked around for an adult to assist her, then it dawned on her that she was the adult! All she saw was a crossroad, each appealing and appearing to be the ideal one. Such a rude shock and awakening. Oh no! What if she made the wrong decision, who was to blame? It was her cross and the consequences were hers to deal with. Oh no no no!

That wasn’t how she envisioned adulthood. She felt betrayed and deceived. It was supposed to be fun! But now all she sees are bills to be paid, mouths to be fed and problems to be solved. And it’s all so daunting. She now goes to the corner and sits, sobbing in her closet. She was to be a baby! Baby was her! This is so unfair, now she has a baby who needs to be babied and that baby is not her?

How did daddy and mummy scale this wall so effortlessly and even beckoned her to walk on this path? Oh, what a scam! She has been scammed by adulthood.

Unfortunately, it is too late to turn back because this is a door of no return. She wipes her tears and vows to make this trip down adult lane worthwhile. She will sit at the feet of those who traversed this route and carve the beauty out of it. Occasionally she will take a rest someway somehow and keep moving forward in the best way she can with God as her guide.

It is her dream to start Adulting 101 to give the upcoming ones some heads-up on what is ahead so they can have some shock absorbers for this journey called life.

Cheers to a much bearable adulting!

What Life Gave Me😔

It’s over a month since I blogged and the more I thought of my long period of silence the more I felt bad and sometimes I just wanted to give up already. And when I am asked when next I was writing, I felt this pang of guilt and sometimes frustration because I really had nothing to say. But I am here today with something straight from my heart.

Afua and Michael, thanks for your gentle reminders, they mean a lot to me. Not forgetting Uncle B, your blog post gave me that nudge, thanks

This piece is dedicated all of my lovely readers and all who are going through personal struggles and fallouts in friendships.

You took my friend and gave me a stranger,

You took the eye contacts and gave me a strange stare,

You took the hugs and gave me a handshake,

You took the laughter and filled it with an empty shriek

You took the hearty conversations and filled it with superficial words.

We act like everything is fine but I know it is not.

I miss you, I miss your silly self😪

Come and swing with me once more

There is a wall, we all have put up defenses to hide our hurt.

Can we just tear the walls down and show our raw wounds? Can we weep and say, “it is okay to not be okay.

Can we not hide our wounds and show each other our raw bleeding hearts?

Can we be real and face the reality?

Can we just sit in silence and shed silent tears?

.

Can I hold your hands as we take our long walk to restoration?

See you on the other side of healing

Eno K

Eno Korantema

I am a free spirited girl with a loud laughter and a large heart

Seyram’s very own Alhaji

This piece is dedicated to all relationships that have had to die premature deaths on the grounds of religion, tribe, and race. Hopefully, we will get to the point where these things will not be the only yardstick but many other factors will be taken into consideration

Happy Birthday to my bestie, Afua!! I love you😘 God bless you and keep you.

To the many amazing April borns I have the privilege of sharing this amazing month with, you are all awesome.

I hope you like this piece 🙈. Keep you likes and comments coming, they mean a lot to me🥰

Seyram loved him dearly, she loved to be in his presence and hear his voice. He had that kind of rich baritone voice with the perfect depth of deepness that was music to the ears. His diction was correct, very articulate with good mastery over the Queen’s language. He was well-read and a repository of knowledge, there was no topic he did not possess some knowledge on. How could one man possess all such qualities? Her mind kept reminding her of the saying, “anything too good to be true, is probably not true” but she reasoned all the more saying, “every good and perfect gift comes from the Lord” and was convinced the Lord had dropped her Adam for her.

Why did he have to be a Muslim? For the very first time in her life that she was sure to have someone she was utterly comfortable around religion had to show up. He ticked all her boxes and presented her with additional specs that she did not think mattered to her until now.

No matter how elegant or compatible they were her family would have none of it. She had considered ‘Tubaaing’ and was going to make sure they would sign the marriage under the ordinance making it unlawful for her Alhaji to take a second or third wife.

Wearing the Mayyafi would not be that bad, she could still cover up and slay. She had already envisioned herself dressed up like Samira Bawumia. Although she did not have the Pistis kind of money Auntie Jane could hook her up with something befitting her status.

Samira Bawumia, 2nd Lady of the Republic of Ghana

All this fickle sentimentalism occurred during her first few weeks of meeting him. She awakened herself out of this reverie and maintained the cordial relationship. There was a lot of rich source of knowledge yet untapped from him and she was determined to learn a lot from him albeit not ever getting him romantically.

Weeks grew into months, and months, crawled into years and the friendship solidified. This time she was growing in her career and her Alhaji also flourishing. The feelings had developed from just the sound of his voice or his presence, they complimented each other in every way. She fit into all his cracks and crevices.

Seyram’s family seemed to have seen this coming and though they love Alhaji as a son, they could not wrap their minds around having their beloved daughter marry a Muslim. It has been an arduous emotional rollercoaster. Seyram thought the love was enough and it would move mountains for her but this time the family pressure being mounted was unsurmountable and she had to give in. Goodbye to a friend, a mentor, a lover………

Alhaji did not mind being with her, but she did. She could not stand up to the societal pressure. Family is everything. When things go south in the marriage would it not be the same family she would fall back on? There was the other saying of needing that family covering and blessing when entering into this lifelong journey called marriage. There were several examples of couples who had defied the odds to be with each other. Hussein and Sandra had worked out fine? Edem and Akua also worked out. Ekow and Mwinkuma, unfortunately, did not work out and have been used as the story to deter the younger ones on this foolhardy’s journey. There was no clear path, and it could go either way. Seyram was naturally a peacemaker and went where there was the least resistance.

 She made pragmatic efforts to cut ties with him but how could she when they worked in close proximity and lived not too far apart. It was as though the stars had aligned in their favour yet, were determined to keep them apart. The more she drew apart the more he kept coming at her. Her feelings were a smoldering wick around him and ready to ignite at the least provocation.

Husein, not all beautiful things were meant to be, thank you for the memories. Maybe in another life, I would have enough courage to damn the consequences but in this present life we did not end up with the perfect love story I pined for.

Sometimes the mirror of love develops cracks and tells a broken story like Seyram’s .

Wipe those tears

Mayyafi = Hijab

Tubaaing= Converting to Islam

The little old lady😊👵

The cajoling and bribery to get this picture taken 🤦‍♀️

This piece was written on Sunday, 21st February 2021 after witnessing my niece pull a smart one on us which left me dumbfounded. I hope you learn a thing from her and seize your moment.

Today being Sunday, my mum decided she would go for evening Mass at 6 pm. She began her preparation around 5 pm. Mummy went to the bathroom to take her bath whilst Naa and I chatted her up from the bedroom. Immediately mummy left the bathroom Naa walked towards the bathroom and we knowing her as one person who never seizes any opportunity to play with water, shouted that she should not go there. She did not respond but surprisingly headed towards the opposite direction making us believe she had listened to us. This little chap had other plans unbeknown to us. She went to her bathroom picked her sponge and soap returned and requested I helped her remove her dress and climbed into the bathtub. “Not a problem”, I said to myself, at least she would have taken her bath for the evening. When she finished I sent her to her room and suggested she wore the same dress she had on before she took her bath since she changed into it not long ago and later in the evening when she is ready for bed I change her into her sleeping dress. This little granny vehemently refused and pointed to a church dress. “After all, today is Sunday why refuse the little girl.” She wore her lovely dress and went on to put on her shoe which she failed at doing since that required some help. All this while I had no idea what was going through her mind because there were many times on Sundays where we dressed her up even though she did not go to church due to the pandemic.

The pieces came together when grandma was ready to go. This little girl walked up to Grandma and with a sweet angelic voice she said, “I want to go with you.”

I was utterly amazed! What excuse could we give to refuse her? This 2 and half-year-old had a plan, she had a goal and without telling us of her plans for fear of being dissuaded, executed it to the letter, using our help when needed but not telling us of her aim. I looked at her with total admiration walked her to Grandma’s car strapped her in her seat and looked at her with awe.

How many of us ever have any goal in sight?

How many of us carefully go to the drawing board and brainstorm in executing it?

How many of us have lost dreams because we told people who ended talking us out of achieving them?

How many of us prepare ourselves for positions, such that when there is a vacancy we are next in line for it.

This incident reminds me of the five wise and five foolish virgins, the wise virgins had extra oil, they foresaw and prepared, such that when the bridegroom arrived, they were in waiting ready to meet Him.

Many of us are wasting time, Carpe Diem!

Be focused and let us take some inspiration from Naa Kwaley

A proud Auntie

Eno K

Up close with fear

I appear to be a very fearless lady with a lot of dreams, very ambitious and ready to take on challenging tasks conversely this is not always the case. On that fateful day in Gießen, Atuah and I had planned to visit their adventure park where there were many adventurous ziplining to be done. Judging between the two of us, it was so easy to write him off and conclude this was Eno’s thing and he was the obedient follower. How could he refuse to go when I was so gingered for this? I was going to soar and fly! Little did I know…… The seemingly quiet ones can pull up surprising heroics.

We went through the usual procedural checks and safety rules which was monotonous for me. “Let’s get the main thing going!!” I kept ranting to myself.  Humility and patience is indeed a virtue.

All set for the adventure

We eventually started our way into the forest with many activities, I was spoilt for choice. The “Ghanaianess” in us made us test the grounds by going for the not too dangerous ziplines to ensure our ancestors were on our side. After a couple of them we felt confident and were pretty sure African electronics will not come to play. I was itching to do the more daring ones, my obedient partner too could only agree. My enthusiasm and audaciousness was cut short when I suggested we do a particular one with obstacles. “Eeii, who sent me?” I took the lead with Atuah trailing me, we kept going higher and higher. Doom struck when I got entangled in some ropes. I could neither move forward nor backward and I had forgotten the signal to give the wardens when you were in distress (Is it not obvious as I wasn’t paying attention at the beginning). The weather was about 10 degrees but I was sweating, my heart also pounding and I could only think of the worst. I was hanging on the rope 30ft above the ground. Today it sounds funny but I was petrified. After the initial struggle, I gathered some composure, disentangled myself and worked my way back. All I wanted to do was to go home, feeling defeated after touting my daring nature. We both yearned to do this particular one which was the icing on the cake for that adventure park, you couldn’t leave there without getting on that adventure, however how to get there was the problem for me especially with the fear I was brewing. I couldn’t help but think I’d get stuck about 50ft up. What if the rope got torn? What if? Even if it happened once in a million, I was convinced I was that one person.

I knew Atuah wanted to have a shot at it, but I also felt because I could not go he would not do it. Why on earth would he? He went and left me behind. I was mad at him in my heart coupled with the fact that I let my fear get the better part of me. I resented him for a while, however I tried to conceal it and beckoned him to go. Eventually we had an argument for a very silly reason, I cannot quite remember, we eventually missed our bus. Oh petty me

In 2018, I had another opportunity to Zipline, As usual Eno doesn’t give up and putting on the fearless façade. As we approached the spot and I saw the vast forest before me and the single rope that will convey me to the other side I began calling on the name of Mother Mary. The fear returned stronger than before. Everything in Giessen resurfaced, I trembled and I was reminded that this was indeed Africa and if I fell there was no 911 and I will be a delicious feast for the lions.

I had an internal battle going on when I was next in line, “Should I continue or throw in the towel?” Just when I was about to give up Yaa Lizzy started, “Sylvia you can do it! Sylvia! Sylvia! No, you are doing it.” Yaa Baby thank you! Were it not for how stern your voice was I would have turned back once again.

This time I got on the rope with the zipline gear and said to Fear, “Hello Fear watch me!”

I made it to the other side!!!! I did

The victor’s smile

Everyone of us was excited at the end of the day but for me it was a personal victory, I had looked at fear in the face and faced it squarely.

I still have fears, many many of them, however I pray and face them squarely and choose my battles wisely. I am going to achieve my purpose and climb many mountains so fear watch out for me.

Eno K