To all the forbidden men I have loved

Happy New Month🥳🥳 As this month doubles up as birthday month💃🏽💃🏽, I promise to give you sensational pieces.

I must apologize for not writing in the month of March, life took hold of me coupled with writer’s block😶.

Thanks for constantly reading and urging me to keep writing , I appreciate you all.

Love, Eno K

James, Fiifi, Jaden………

Why do I seem to only fall in love with people I can never have? This heart of mine does not have any sense of direction in this life and has disconnected all ties with my head and seems to just go with its flow. And so far she has been a disaster. Only coming back with bandaids in an attempt to hold her together. What on earth can I do with you, You just do not think!

James, Oh James! The mention of your name just sent my lips wide and the smile was enough to get to my eyes. What beautiful memories I made with you in my mind, hahaha. They could not manifest because you were my teacher and I was a shy teenager. I could never look in your eyes for fear that you would see through me. Anytime you stood in class to teach, my heart was in a constant somersault and the butterflies in my tummy went agog. I dreamt of a possible life together………childish me. The only way I could make you notice me was by failing in your subject so you will call me for the special tutorial like you did with the others but the only time I failed, you announced that you had stopped that tutorial. I was so furious at you, “how could you do that to me?”, “Did you have any idea what it took to fail just so you will notice me?” The lecture I was going to receive from my dad did not hold as opposed to the ultimate goal of being your special tutorial student and you ruined it all! That day the love vanished and I made a pact with brain never to allow heart to run around unchecked.

• 

  I was convinced this would never happen again until Uncle Fiifi came around and messed it all up

This heart of mine I have concluded is on a suicide mission, don’t ask me why, by the time I am done with Uncle Fiifi you will understand me. The title Uncle should just tell you this was a forbidden love right from the word go, but dear heart with no ears will not listen. Uncle Fiifi was that perfect young uncle we all had. All the female cousins had a crush on him and I was no exception and the male cousins aspired to be like him. Uncle Fiifi was married to a beautiful woman and I hated her for taking the love of my life away from me. The day he brought her home, I cried in my pillow the whole night knowing I had lost him for good. Uncle Fiifi saw me grow, he was my go-to person, he taught me how to swim, took us to all the fun places when mummy and daddy weren’t available. He always asked which boy I liked and how to go about the boys in my university. Little did he know the advice he gave me was kept in my heart as a treasure to be used on him. On my 23^rd birthday, he sent me out and promised me a wonderful time. Silly me thought I was matured enough to let it all out. I had written a 3 paged, heartfelt letter to him and even tried to steal a kiss when the hug he gave me lingered on. I actually thought he felt the same way about me and that he would leave auntie for me and we will be happy together. Well, that day saw the end of us, and heart returned to head with a stronger resolve. Today we are better friends after years of avoiding me as though I was a plague and that stung so bad.

Jaden was our youth chaplain, I am trying to cover who entirely Jaden is…………..how can I even say this. Jaden is a Catholic priest. Now, do you understand why I berate my heart so much? When she sees a forbidden man, that is when she decides to pump ferociously. Fr Jaden was my ideal man. When he stood on the sanctuary in his white cassock, Lord!! As for the sermon it was never my focus. Fine man, 6’1 tall, sideburns, 6 packs, chocolate in colour, no pimples, no wrinkles, only dimples. I hope you are getting the picture I am painting, and with all this fineness this man decided to be a priest! Fr Jaden did not try for the females like me. I built a family with him. Honestly, it was not just an infatuation it was love. I was more mature at this stage and kept my emotions under my sleeve. Unfortunately for me, I had to work on some committees with him, so we got close. The closer we got, the more difficult it was to keep my heart in check. Heart run free and wild again. I think this is the saddest one because Fr Jaden felt the same way about me. It is always easier when one party does not like you like James and Uncle Fiifi but this case was different. Fr loved the priesthood and lived for it. He could not bring himself to want to leave and he selfishly wanted me just as I wanted him.

After months of tears and love, the brain took over and dragged love home. I changed parishes and priests and I are not friends!!! I cannot die twice.

To all the forbidden men I have loved, I really did love you but as it were, you were all forbidden. I do not know why the unforbidden ones haven’t yet appealed to my heart or maybe my heart ascribes to Cardi B’s rap in Girl’s like you by Maroon 5, “why is the best fruit always forbidden?” Is this true?

I have no idea

But for now, my heart is under rigorous training.

I am happy to announce that, an unforbidden lad is lurking around. I do not want to get ahead of myself so I am taking it slowly, wish me luck because this time he has to be the one 😉!

Happy Easter🐣

The little old lady😊👵

The cajoling and bribery to get this picture taken 🤦‍♀️

This piece was written on Sunday, 21^st February 2021 after witnessing my niece pull a smart one on us which left me dumbfounded. I hope you learn a thing from her and seize your moment.

Today being Sunday, my mum decided she would go for evening Mass at 6 pm. She began her preparation around 5 pm. Mummy went to the bathroom to take her bath whilst Naa and I chatted her up from the bedroom. Immediately mummy left the bathroom Naa walked towards the bathroom and we knowing her as one person who never seizes any opportunity to play with water, shouted that she should not go there. She did not respond but surprisingly headed towards the opposite direction making us believe she had listened to us. This little chap had other plans unbeknown to us. She went to her bathroom picked her sponge and soap returned and requested I helped her remove her dress and climbed into the bathtub. “Not a problem”, I said to myself, at least she would have taken her bath for the evening. When she finished I sent her to her room and suggested she wore the same dress she had on before she took her bath since she changed into it not long ago and later in the evening when she is ready for bed I change her into her sleeping dress. This little granny vehemently refused and pointed to a church dress. “After all, today is Sunday why refuse the little girl.” She wore her lovely dress and went on to put on her shoe which she failed at doing since that required some help. All this while I had no idea what was going through her mind because there were many times on Sundays where we dressed her up even though she did not go to church due to the pandemic.

The pieces came together when grandma was ready to go. This little girl walked up to Grandma and with a sweet angelic voice she said, “I want to go with you.”

I was utterly amazed! What excuse could we give to refuse her? This 2 and half-year-old had a plan, she had a goal and without telling us of her plans for fear of being dissuaded, executed it to the letter, using our help when needed but not telling us of her aim. I looked at her with total admiration walked her to Grandma’s car strapped her in her seat and looked at her with awe.

How many of us ever have any goal in sight?

How many of us carefully go to the drawing board and brainstorm in executing it?

How many of us have lost dreams because we told people who ended talking us out of achieving them?

How many of us prepare ourselves for positions, such that when there is a vacancy we are next in line for it.

This incident reminds me of the five wise and five foolish virgins, the wise virgins had extra oil, they foresaw and prepared, such that when the bridegroom arrived, they were in waiting ready to meet Him.

Many of us are wasting time, Carpe Diem!

Be focused and let us take some inspiration from Naa Kwaley

A proud Auntie

Eno K

Up close with fear

I appear to be a very fearless lady with a lot of dreams, very ambitious and ready to take on challenging tasks conversely this is not always the case. On that fateful day in Gießen, Atuah and I had planned to visit their adventure park where there were many adventurous ziplining to be done. Judging between the two of us, it was so easy to write him off and conclude this was Eno’s thing and he was the obedient follower. How could he refuse to go when I was so gingered for this? I was going to soar and fly! Little did I know…… The seemingly quiet ones can pull up surprising heroics.

We went through the usual procedural checks and safety rules which was monotonous for me. “Let’s get the main thing going!!” I kept ranting to myself.  Humility and patience is indeed a virtue.

All set for the adventure

We eventually started our way into the forest with many activities, I was spoilt for choice. The “Ghanaianess” in us made us test the grounds by going for the not too dangerous ziplines to ensure our ancestors were on our side. After a couple of them we felt confident and were pretty sure African electronics will not come to play. I was itching to do the more daring ones, my obedient partner too could only agree. My enthusiasm and audaciousness was cut short when I suggested we do a particular one with obstacles. “Eeii, who sent me?” I took the lead with Atuah trailing me, we kept going higher and higher. Doom struck when I got entangled in some ropes. I could neither move forward nor backward and I had forgotten the signal to give the wardens when you were in distress (Is it not obvious as I wasn’t paying attention at the beginning). The weather was about 10 degrees but I was sweating, my heart also pounding and I could only think of the worst. I was hanging on the rope 30ft above the ground. Today it sounds funny but I was petrified. After the initial struggle, I gathered some composure, disentangled myself and worked my way back. All I wanted to do was to go home, feeling defeated after touting my daring nature. We both yearned to do this particular one which was the icing on the cake for that adventure park, you couldn’t leave there without getting on that adventure, however how to get there was the problem for me especially with the fear I was brewing. I couldn’t help but think I’d get stuck about 50ft up. What if the rope got torn? What if? Even if it happened once in a million, I was convinced I was that one person.

I knew Atuah wanted to have a shot at it, but I also felt because I could not go he would not do it. Why on earth would he? He went and left me behind. I was mad at him in my heart coupled with the fact that I let my fear get the better part of me. I resented him for a while, however I tried to conceal it and beckoned him to go. Eventually we had an argument for a very silly reason, I cannot quite remember, we eventually missed our bus. Oh petty me

In 2018, I had another opportunity to Zipline, As usual Eno doesn’t give up and putting on the fearless façade. As we approached the spot and I saw the vast forest before me and the single rope that will convey me to the other side I began calling on the name of Mother Mary. The fear returned stronger than before. Everything in Giessen resurfaced, I trembled and I was reminded that this was indeed Africa and if I fell there was no 911 and I will be a delicious feast for the lions.

I had an internal battle going on when I was next in line, “Should I continue or throw in the towel?” Just when I was about to give up Yaa Lizzy started, “Sylvia you can do it! Sylvia! Sylvia! No, you are doing it.” Yaa Baby thank you! Were it not for how stern your voice was I would have turned back once again.

This time I got on the rope with the zipline gear and said to Fear, “Hello Fear watch me!”

I made it to the other side!!!! I did

The victor’s smile

Everyone of us was excited at the end of the day but for me it was a personal victory, I had looked at fear in the face and faced it squarely.

I still have fears, many many of them, however I pray and face them squarely and choose my battles wisely. I am going to achieve my purpose and climb many mountains so fear watch out for me.

Eno K

Can You End Already?

This pandemic should end already🥺, it has taken so much away than I was ready to give. So many adjustments and a new normal.

In my heart of hearts I believed that the pandemic would have ended by now and be part of a history no one would want to remember but alas it’s almost 1st February 2021 and we are still under the the masks. Unfortunately the virus has picked up momentum in what we call the second wave

Can you stop already?

Have you not done enough already?

Are you not content?

Oh how I wish I could say something or do something but I look on helpless, watching my family members fight to live against this virus, I hear about friends and acquaintances. As a medic, I do what I can and watch my gallant patients fight and press on. Many are the fallen heroes, who did not go down without putting up a fight. We are proud of you.

Should we throw in the towel and tell the virus to do it’s worst? So easy right? But No we won’t! We were made for more than this! We will fight with our last sweat! We will hide our beautiful smiles beneath our masks and smile through eyes. We will save the hugs till we can hug and crush each other’s bones. We will put off on our gatherings until it’s safe to do so……I know it’s hard because I too want us to be together and have fun🥺🥺

Till then we will try to live safely and not let the virus defeat us.

Soon we will win and together we say we made it 💪🏽!

Stay safe

Covid is real

Mask up

• Keep your social distance
• Wash your hands
• Stay home

From a weary soul

Eno K 😷

Merry Christmas 🎄🎁

Growing up, like many children, Christmas has been my favorite season. I looked forward to it with all gladness and eagerness. The season came with lots of preparations: General cleaning at home, mounting and decorating of the Christmas tree🎄 was the icing on the cake, many trips to Makola, family parties etc. Christmas was never devoid of new clothes, gifts from mummy and daddy as well as the cashes I looked forward to shop with.

Photocredit: google

Now, sadly I am supposedly an adult😅 (I did not willingly sign up for this), which came with Christmas cash ceasing abruptly, oh the shock! I believe I should have been weaned off gradually you know. I still have not recovered from it. This year is no different, no Christmas cashes from Daddy or Mummy😂, the struggle is real. In all of this I have learnt the true meaning of Christmas, to share love and bring Christ to as many people as I can. I have learnt to give when it hurts the most, not out of abundance but out of love.

I promised quite a number of people to release a piece before the year ends, I do not know if this piece will do or whether or not this qualifies as one but all the same I want to thank you all for encouraging me in my writing, for being my muse, my inspiration and for reading such that you yearn for more. This year has seen a revamp in my journey of writing. This dream has seen the light of day because of you and I am grateful. I have become better in putting my thoughts together and using my talents to edify all and sundry.

It is my prayer that each year gets better and better and the blog will move to another phase.

In the spirit of Christmas I wish you a merry Christmas, be hopeful, be encouraged, stay positive. This year has affected us all differently but in all things God has been good! Have a spirit filled Christmas with Christ at the centre.

With a heart filled with Glad tidings.

It is me, Eno K😘

WORDS🤫😉

Photocredit: google

I wrote this piece in 2016 after I experienced an untoward effect of some words I spoke to someone. I picked some lessons and put them down. I chanced upon this piece in my archives and I said to myself, “why are you gathering dust when you can add colour to the world?” Here we go, let me add some colour to your world.

Words are very tricky, playing around them, throwing them backwards and forward, they can be so nice to you but other times betray you………..Especially when you believe you are so right in using such words that have been premeditated and carved to suit the heart of the writer but more often than not, not the heart of the receiver. In all pomposity and in our rightness, with the speed of light we let the words out of our mouths like missiles. They go wherever we send them to and the effects stare us in the face.

We watch with folded arms like Edmond Dantes, the Count of Monte Cristo, and admire the colour our words have added to this dimly lit world, I guess we feel so accomplished and full of pride. We then go back to the drawing boards and fire some more missiles. This time the fireworks is even more breath-taking, the sky in our mind’s eyes are lit. It is Christmas and New Year’s Eve and there seems to be a foretaste of our self-actualisation

But you know, it’s not always rosy or fireworks! There are times when the words, once let out, whether loosely or in all sincerity, are like the Landmines that unsuspecting victims in Rwanda and Angola stepped on, and left them amputated for life, the effects stare us right back in the face. And we so wish to take back the words or turn back the hands of time and do it all over again. By then, the words have sliced through the heart of the victim, just like the wings of the two Boeing 767 aeroplanes sliced through the 93rd -99th and 75th – 85th floors of the North and South Towers of the World Trade Centre respectively, bringing them down to ground zero. Americans may have seemingly moved on and we too will move on after this, but the effects still linger on.

Photocredit: Google

There are the times when a careless word slips out and we hold our breath and get ready to behold the effects of the word but thankfully, the person it was directed to, just let it slide away. Whew!!! That sigh of relief we heave and thank our lucky stars.

It’s all about words and their effects, we can’t help but talk every now and then but all in all the fireworks of our words should outnumber the amputees we have to our credit.

Stay blessed, It’s Eno K once again!!!!!

Tales From My Retreat

I have this yearly plan where I have imputed that each year I will go on a personal retreat. Last year was when this plan was supposed to take effect however this plan never saw the light of the day. Nonetheless I still did not cancel it from my yearly plan.

God’s ways are always perfect even though I may not tell him to His face always but my heart sings this at all times. Somewhere in September whilst I was on my leave, a friend, Richmond, talked about he going on a retreat and I quickly jumped into this wagon because I knew I needed a retreat this year and I had no plans underway to that effect. His suggestion came to me as not merely coincidental but divinely orchestrated.

All set and ready for the unknown😊🥺😅

For detailed and structured information on the retreat refer to Richmond’s blog as I am not much of a detailed person in this regard.

Richmond asked me each time to share progress of my retreat but I could not bring myself to do so. Much contrary to my sanguine nature I am closed when it comes to very personal things, nevertheless I will try to open up as much as I can.

St Peter Claver house is an incredible place,(There is some expansion work ongoing currently, so it may not be entirely as it looks in the pictures however the experience is totally worth it). The rooms, the FOOD!!!!! I need not overemphasize on the food, anyone who knows a Catholic mission house will understand what I am saying. It was such a pity there was the fasting component so I had to let some of the meals pass….such a tragedy😔.

Leaving Accra to Cape Coast came with a lot of anxiety and trepidation because I knew God had something up for me, I still do not know though (1Cor 13:9 For we know in parts………)as I have glimpses and the picture is not yet in perspective. Several times I wanted to chicken out, to make that call to Richmond and give an excuse but I got encouragement from Atuah and I took that leap of faith.

The first night at table with the four learned! Jesuit priests gave me that hint that this retreat was going to be all that God wanted. Fr Hinfey who entered the Jesuit congregation 70years ago(yes I said seventy years……I know you are all doing the math to know his age) struck some cords in my life erh. At that moment I began to sweat in all sorts of places with that funny itch that comes with it. Immediately I prayed silently, “God well done(sarcastically), you are doing well 😏 and I am sure you have a lot more in store.”

My sessions were at 8am with Fr Edmund and they all lasted roughly about 1hour 30mins. I honestly had no idea I spent that much time and it felt as though after each session my walls were tumbling down and cracks were developing in the glass I had built around my fragile heart. There was one retreatant who said my sessions appeared to be hearty whilst hers were tear filled. Hearty as they may appeared to be were on the contrary more of a battle field. More resistance, more whys?, there were some tears but I told Fr I wasn’t going to use his box of Kleenex hence I spoke to my lacrimal glands so they do not disgrace me. Fr had a way around me, throwing in thought provoking/Holy Spirit inspired questions such that there were several times I told him I had quit the retreat. There was a time I blurted, “Who sent you to me?”😅 And calmly with a smirk on his face he turned outside and said, “God did you send me?”

After each session, was a time of reflection, prayer, contemplation, sleep, journaling and reading of the retreat materials. The atmosphere provided me with the perfect opportunity for that. The round chapel experience: priceless, the walk around the compound: exceptional with you being able to meditate in silence. Honestly there were no cares, no worries pure peace. The time at the grotto at The Holy Cross Brothers was another sensation.

Every single day Jesus was exposed in the Blessed Sacrament: pure beauty! There is nothing like the presence of God. I can resonate with Peter when he suggested that three shelters be built on the mountain after the transfiguration had taken place (Matt 17:1-4). There was no point in him going back to the where they came from. Just like Peter, at the end of my stay a part of me wanted to remain, but sadly I had to go back as my leave had ended.

When I returned, I had people asking, “Sylvia did you get answers to your prayers? Did you find what you were looking for?”

To try to answer the questions

I did not go exactly going to seek for answers to my prayers, I needed time away from the noise of this world. I wanted to seek his face on the next step and just engage Him.

As at now I am more confused than ever about the direction my life should take, very ironic right? However I have learnt to trust His perfect process.

I learnt to say Yes to things I would out rightly say no to, an example of such no’s is not sharing my experience but here I am saying yes and blessing your life with it

I took some bold steps and Jesus worked a miracle for me

Fr Hinfey said in his American accent, “Sylvia what does the inscription in your shirt say?”

Me🙄: Light up the darkness, (Me to myself: Why on earth did I bring and wear this shirt🤦🏽‍♀️)

Fr Edmund SJ, thank you, I know I was a stubborn retreatant but your patience with me was heart-warming. Such patience can only be divinely given.

And to my readers thank you for reading to the end, I hope you have been blessed by these words. And sorry once again for the writer’s drought

I hope to come to you next year Godwilling with another beautiful retreat.

A beautiful place to be😊

Eno K