To all the forbidden men I have loved

Happy New Month🥳🥳 As this month doubles up as birthday month💃🏽💃🏽, I promise to give you sensational pieces.

I must apologize for not writing in the month of March, life took hold of me coupled with writer’s block😶.

Thanks for constantly reading and urging me to keep writing , I appreciate you all.

Love, Eno K

James, Fiifi, Jaden………

Why do I seem to only fall in love with people I can never have? This heart of mine does not have any sense of direction in this life and has disconnected all ties with my head and seems to just go with its flow. And so far she has been a disaster. Only coming back with bandaids in an attempt to hold her together. “What on earth can I do with you? You just do not think!”

James, Oh James! The mention of your name just sent my lips wide and the smile was enough to get to my eyes. What beautiful memories I made with you in my mind, hahaha. They could not manifest because you were my teacher and I was a shy teenager. I could never look in your eyes for fear that you would see through me. Anytime you stood in class to teach, my heart was in a constant somersault and the butterflies in my tummy went agog. I dreamt of a possible life together………childish me. The only way I could make you notice me was by failing in your subject so you will call me for the special tutorial like you did with the others but the only time I failed, you announced that you had stopped that tutorial. I was so furious at you, “how could you do that to me?”, “Did you have any idea what it took to fail just so you will notice me?” The lecture I was going to receive from my dad did not hold as opposed to the ultimate goal of being your special tutorial student and you ruined it all! That day, the love vanished and I made a pact with brain never to allow heart to run around unchecked.

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  I was convinced this would never happen again until Uncle Fiifi came around and messed it all up

This heart of mine I have concluded is on a suicide mission, do not ask me why, by the time I am done with Uncle Fiifi you will understand me. The title Uncle should just tell you this was a forbidden love right from the word go, but dear heart with no ears will not listen. Uncle Fiifi was that perfect young uncle we all had. All the female cousins had a crush on him and I was no exception and the male cousins aspired to be like him. Uncle Fiifi was married to a beautiful woman and I hated her for taking the love of my life away from me. The day he brought her home, I cried in my pillow the whole night knowing I had lost him for good. Uncle Fiifi saw me grow, he was my go-to person, he taught me how to swim, took us to all the fun places when mummy and daddy weren’t available. He always asked which boy I liked and how to go about the boys in my university. Little did he know the advice he gave me was kept in my heart as a treasure to be used on him. On my 23^rd birthday, he sent me out and promised me a wonderful time. Silly me thought I was matured enough to let it all out. I had written a 3 paged, heartfelt letter to him and even tried to steal a kiss when the hug he gave me lingered on. I actually thought he felt the same way about me and that he would leave auntie for me and we will be happy together. Well, that day saw the end of us, and heart returned to head with a stronger resolve. Today we are better friends after years of avoiding me as though I was a plague and that stung so bad.

Jaden was our youth chaplain, I am trying to cover who entirely Jaden is…………..how can I even say this. Jaden is a Catholic priest. Now, do you understand why I berate my heart so much? When she sees a forbidden man, that is when she decides to pump ferociously. Fr Jaden was my ideal man. When he stood on the sanctuary in his white cassock, Lord!! As for the sermon, it was never my focus. Fine man, 6’1 tall, sideburns, 6 packs, chocolate in colour, no pimples, no wrinkles, only dimples. I hope you are getting the picture I am painting, and with all this fineness this man decided to be a priest! Fr Jaden did not try for the females like me. I built a family with him. Honestly, it was not just an infatuation it was love. I was more mature at this stage and kept my emotions under my sleeve. Unfortunately for me, I had to work on some committees with him, so we got close. The closer we got, the more difficult it was to keep my heart in check. Heart run free and wild again. I think this is the saddest one because Fr Jaden felt the same way about me. It is always easier when one party does not like you like James and Uncle Fiifi but this case was different. Fr loved the priesthood and lived for it. He could not bring himself to want to leave and he selfishly wanted me just as I wanted him.

After months of tears and love, the brain took over and dragged love home. I changed parishes and priests and I are not friends!!! I cannot die twice.

To all the forbidden men I have loved, I really did love you but as it were, you were all forbidden. I do not know why the unforbidden ones haven’t yet appealed to my heart or maybe my heart ascribes to Cardi B’s rap in Girl’s like you by Maroon 5, “why is the best fruit always forbidden?” Is this true?

I have no idea

But for now, my heart is under rigorous training.

I am happy to announce that, an unforbidden lad is lurking around. I do not want to get ahead of myself so I am taking it slowly, wish me luck because this time he has to be the one 😉!

Happy Easter🐣

Are you truly Independent?

Happy Independence Day

65 years of Independence but are we truly independent 😊

Question to be answered on another day

The topic as Adults today is: Is this Adulting come with the independence we envisioned?

We all dreamt of growing up, right?

Leaving our parents home by a certain age and having things going on for us and not entirely reliant on them what then do we see today?

We said many things like “When I grow up I’ll have my own house and car by age this” “I won’t be living in mummy and Daddy’s house, nobody roll have to tell me what to do.” “By this age I will be taking care of my parents”

Like Ghana after 65years most of us are still reliant on our parents 😅. Ghana still goes round borrowing from its colonial masters 🙃. I am very much a culprit 😅

Where is the freedom we screamed for?

The freedom Osagyefo Dr Kwame Nkrumah stood on the podium and declared?

Is it that our independence was premature? Or the system crippled our ability to stand on our feet.

Today I want us as adults to reflect on the number of years we have been at this adulting business and think carefully about how you going forward you hope to make this supposed independence count for something

It is your favorite Adulting Coach Eno Korantema Ghana😜😜

When Adulting Gets to the Adult

Today as your Adulting Coach I am going to talk about what motivated me to start this Adulting journey.

In 2018 when I got done with school and joined the working class I found myself very unsettled and grumbling about everything and nothing. The world out there was entirely different from what I was used to in school. It was very daunting combining housejob with navigating my way through it. I must say I had some people who made the journey lighter and made up for the things that were not found in my text book.

Occasionally, I met with friends and we all talked about the various ways life was dealing with us individually and how we were coping. We shared our mistakes and other times we all kept our failures under wraps for fear of being judged by one another.

Then came to major decisions and my mind was a maze. I have never been unsure about anything growing up. I knew the sequences at heart but now I knew nothing and this was very new to me and left me unsettled. I struggled with indecisiveness and at a point it made me feel as though I lacked direction and was just being tossed by the wind. I felt many people around me had things going on for them whereas I had nothing to show. The weight of it sapped my energy I must say but someway somehow it got better.

Which way is it?

I kept asking the adults before me, “isn’t there a manual in this life?” Honestly I needed something in print to guide me. I was always musing about life and adulting. I agree a lot of people may be surprised I am speaking this way as they believe I have it all figured out.

So on a particular day in June 2021(I do not have access to the date now) after several intrapersonal conversations I decided to start a WhatsApp Series: Adulting Series with Eno K. I wanted to talk about my struggles about adulting and create a platform where many other people can also freely express themselves about how their adulting is going. The response has been nothing but amazing and overwhelming. Like Peter after he encountered greatness of the Lord instead of him staying with the Lord He rather asked the Lord to depart from him because he was a sinful person. There have been many times I have contemplated quitting and have actually quitted because I felt inadequate to pull this. Nevertheless, I have learnt that God equips those He calls and no one is perfect for the work, we grow and make necessary adjustments when we can, hence my decision to continue.

This series will address the everythings and nothings of life.

How come I have not put up anything on my status today? The Adulting got to me and the screen of my phone is damaged! Yes I am sad, very sad I must say. The saddest part is I do not know how it happened. I spoke about financial planning for 2weeks running and this mishap is definitely going to throw my budget in disarray, but it is well. This is what adulting is right? It is one of those things right?

Cheers to many days of Adulting with Eno K

Resolution or No Resolution?🤔😕😬🥴

Do you still write New Year resolution? Or it is a thing of the past?

Do not make resolutions without an action plan. The secret to success is right in your hands

J Allen Shaw

Have you you written many resolutions each year and not achieved them such that you are going with the flow? You do not want to be disappointed any more hence you have the mantra: “As for me, I do not do this resolution thing”

For all you know, the whole idea of it being a resolution is causing you so much trepidation, the weight appears too much for you to bear hence you keep crumbling under the weight.

As young adults we tend not to want to keep resolutions anymore to prevent us from being disappointed. We build a front when all we want to do is to achieve these goals

But it is okay, You do not need to be able to achieve them all.

There are 365days of the year and you have each day to make little wins. Just as Habakkuk 2:2-4 says write it down, put it on a tablet…………, so you must write all your achievable goals for each day and at the end of the day you will be grateful for the strides you have made.

This year, dear adults we are all getting journals. We will write and cross out all our plans one by one.

Write achievable goals and cross that which you have achieved out\

For each cross you make, be sure to pat yourself at the back.

At the end of the year you will be very grateful and proud of yourself for all the little achievable strides you were able to make.

Do not be concerned about your pace of achieving them.

Set realistic timelines and keep working at it.

We are all in different stages of our lives.

At the end of the year, we will show our journals of our daily wins and try again!

Happy 2022.

Adulting Series is still taking shape to serve you better.

This adulting will be bearable for us and the next generation.

It is your Adulting Coach, Eno K

Adulthood, Goals, New Year Resolution, Pain, risks, Wins

Happy World Stroke Day

I wrote this piece in February and after writing it, I knew I was not yet ready to share, so it was archived till whenever I deemed it fit. For one reason or another, today I went through my folders that had my pieces and when I read it, I knew the time was now. I would not call this a mere coincidence but Divinely orchestrated because shortly after I was done reading this piece my dad texted on the family page that today is World Stroke Day and tomorrow will be exactly 2years since he had the stroke. I believe this is the final nudge to say, “Korantema, it is time”

Stay put as I walk you through my journey with my dad. Do take whatever you can from this piece

Eno K.

Us then

So there were days I was upset with him for not remembering and having to ask me the same question for the umpteenth time, “Enti wose me yar3e no 3y3 d3en?” There are days where I carefully explain what Stroke is, its complications, and the implications in his life. He will respond, “saa?” You realise the disease had taken some of his cognition away and his understanding of some basic things was gone.

This ailment pierced my heart! It shook my faith! My dad was one of my gisting partners. I can talk for hours on end and whichever topic it was, my dad was there to listen and share his opinion. When he was transferred to Kumasi, there were many times he came to my hostel and I will sit in his car at the car park and we will fill each other on our day and probably go-ahead to talk about happenings in the world.

But now, I do not know! We talk but it is not so deep, I may have to repeat or explain what I mean. It is not as bad as I am making it seem but it is just that I want my dad fully back. I know considering the location of the stroke he was supposed to be aphasic and this is a miracle and I should be grateful for this. The thing is I am just an Oliver Twist: always asking for more. Then on another day, he will ask, “so can they not enter his brain and reconnect the nerves that are dead or probably resurrect them?” And I will explain how when nerves die it tends to be an irreversible death and it was up to him to move his limbs as the impulse from his brain is no longer functional. There was a day when he actually told me what I was saying wasn’t true and I had not learned my medicine well. Such effrontery! I was so upset.

You cannot blame him, he was an energetic 60yr old man, confined to the house by this illness. He always asks when will I be fully fit enough to drive? There are days that he is optimistic but I know better, he has plateaued and this may be as far as he can go, but how do I convince him and myself?

In all of this, I was not treated as a daughter and the last born, nope, I was seen as the doctor and everyone who needed information called me. There was no time to cry, I was there consoling my sister and mum and being strong. There were days I wanted to be hugged and to cry my heart out, well Cést la vie, that was my share of the cake. There were days his vitals especially his pressures were recalcitrant and had decided the roof was its target. No class of antihypertensive would bring it down. And on such days I had to convince everyone all was well when I knew we walking on a thin high rope. On such days I will end up in an Adoration Chapel and plead my cause to God. Gradually the pressures came down and we were discharged home with a man who was supposed to be my dad, in a wheelchair. Mind you he walked into the hospital. Well they said he’s all ours so we took him as he came

Know the symptoms and Act FAST!

Was there a time I wondered if death would have been merciful? Countless times, but who am I? A mere mortal. God has the final say. Today we have graduated from the wheelchair, through to Zimmer frame, walking stick and we walk with a limp. There are days we use the stick when it gets difficult to walk without it. He says I should hurry up and marry so he walks me down the aisle. I also told him I wouldn’t want him to limp by me in my stunning gown, so we are on a rigorous regime on operation walk Korantema down the aisle with a minimal limp😊

In all of this God has been faithful and I am grateful for how far he has brought my family

Stroke is deadly😢, you do not want to go through this, I do not even wish it on my worst enemy or even on the devil. It is as hard as it can be.

I am sharing this story to encourage survivors and relatives of stroke patients and to all with the risk factors. Take your medications, go for regular check-ups! DO NOT SAY YOU ARE TAKING YOUR MEDICATIONS SO YOU WON’T GO FOR REVIEW!! I know I am shouting but I cannot help it. I will shout for it to resound in your ears. It is better to be safe than sorry. You do not want to go through, the mental torture, the financial implications, these cannot be put into words.

Ebenezer; how far the Lord has brought us

I don’t even know how to sign off……………

Sighs………..

It is well

Take care of yourself

Translation

“Enti wose me yar3e no 3y3 d3en?”: So what is it do you say is my sickness

Saa?: Is that so?

The Bathroom Floor

Photocredit: @tearsland

Happy New Month to all avid readers of this blog. May the month of October bring with it all that you pray for.

This piece is dedicated to every one of us fighting silent battles and waiting for a prayer to be answered

Today I was speaking to a friend about trying to find God on my bathroom floor, this term was coined by the Nightbirde who has impacted lives in her difficult moments. Having a 2% chance of survival yet inspiring many across the globe to rise above their dispirited moment. He said, “Eno your situation is not bathroom floor, it is the roof and you will laugh about it in some years to come.” And I replied, “Well, it might be the roof in hindsight but as of now I feel I am on the bathroom floor.” Thinking deeper and continuing with the dialogue, I said to him, “I agree and have come to believe that adversities bring out the most beautiful things.

I am God’s downstairs neighbor, banging on the ceiling with a broomstick. I show up at His door every day. Nightbirde

How does the bathroom floor feel like? Oh, it does feel cold, with the tiles, and your voice echoes at you. It seems your prayers bounce back at you. You lie down and all you see is a blank dull ceiling, doing nothing to lighten up your mood.

As cliché as it may sound, by mentioning the likes of Thomas Edison, J K Rowlings, Katy Perry, Henry Ford, Bill Gates, Colonel Sanders whose stories have been famously told for having some failure before a breakthrough. I also will not deny that many many others went through the dark moments and could not break out of it for us to have a Horatio Spafford: When Peace like a river kind of harmony. I am here to inspire any and everyone who seems to be lying on the cold unfriendly floor that this too shall pass!

What can you learn out of it?

What is God telling you in all of this?

You may not like the current role you are playing in this life. We all want the fairytale ending….don’t we all? Not the antagonist of the play. (Un)fortunately, as we are actors on this stage of life till the curtains are drawn and the lights dim, let us play our role well and rise above the cold floor and write our own story.

I am Eno K and writing from my bathroom floor.

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The Boy Next Door

Painting by Cayetano de Arquer Buigas

There is always that guy who seems just within reach but at the same time so far away. That is how I felt about the boy next door. He was so close yet unavailable.

The boy next door! I seem to be in your peripheral vision and secondary to your commitments.

There was a she, but I was there before her.

You saw me in diapers hence I was always that little girl to you.

The boy next door, can you not see me wave at you?

Can you not see me jumping and my subtle winks at you?

Can you not see me passing by just to catch your attention?

The boy next door, when will I hit your fovea?

The boy next door, so near but yet so far away.

Till then you will remain my fantasy……….

Eno K

Scammed by Adulthood

I started a WhatsApp series on Adulthood about a month ago hurray!! and the feedback from most of you has been nothing but amazing. Today I would like to share a piece on what adulthood felt like to me when it struck. I hope you enjoy enjoy it. Hopefully the series transcends into something bigger that will benefit the upcoming generation.

To all the Argentina and Messi fans CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! Yes we did it. This so surreal.

Feliz Compleaños

Adulthood is like the vet, and we’re all the dogs that were excited for the car ride until we realized where we’re going.

Anonymous

Before she knew, the adulthood she dreamt of struck, Oh the joy! but this joy was short-lived.

All her cushions had been taken away and she was left to stand all on her own.

She casts her eyes around and there was no one there. When the time of decision making came, she looked around for an adult to assist her, then it dawned on her that she was the adult! All she saw was a crossroad, each appealing and appearing to be the ideal one. Such a rude shock and awakening. Oh no! What if she made the wrong decision, who was to blame? It was her cross and the consequences were hers to deal with. Oh no no no!

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That wasn’t how she envisioned adulthood. She felt betrayed and deceived. It was supposed to be fun! But now all she sees are bills to be paid, mouths to be fed and problems to be solved. And it’s all so daunting. She now goes to the corner and sits, sobbing in her closet. She was to be a baby! Baby was her! This is so unfair, now she has a baby who needs to be babied and that baby is not her?

How did daddy and mummy scale this wall so effortlessly and even beckoned her to walk on this path? Oh, what a scam! She has been scammed by adulthood.

Unfortunately, it is too late to turn back because this is a door of no return. She wipes her tears and vows to make this trip down adult lane worthwhile. She will sit at the feet of those who traversed this route and carve the beauty out of it. Occasionally she will take a rest someway somehow and keep moving forward in the best way she can with God as her guide.

It is her dream to start Adulting 101 to give the upcoming ones some heads-up on what is ahead so they can have some shock absorbers for this journey called life.

Cheers to a much bearable adulting!